Too Damaged to Be Around Friends

There have been too many things in my mind now. Everything seems to be so wrong somehow. Friendships were broken. Maybe it is true what they say; your best friend is your worst enemy.

It is always your best friend who hurts you the most. The closeness and togetherness were all gone in a wink. The friendship itself took ages to build. To ruin it takes a mere second. That hurts me the most when the simplest of all things could be the main reason to the crumbling of a lifetime worth of friendship.

I am damaged :( for I have been left with a broken heart n mending broken hearts is what I am worst at. Been broken too many times before. This time it hurts the most. The person I rely on for moral support and my best friend is no longer here with me. I'm lost.

Life must go on. That is what I keep on telling myself. Move on. Go out! Meet new people. Find new love. Live for a purpose :) keep yourself happy. Enjoy life while u still can..

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On My Playlist

"Breath"

I see nothing in your eyes, and the more I see the less I like.

Is it over yet, in my head?

I know nothing of your kind, and I won't reveal your evil mind

Is it over yet? I can't win.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.

I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.

I'm going all the way, get away, please

You take the breath right out of me.

You left a hole where my heart should be.

You got to fight just to make it through,

'cause I will be the death of you.

This will be all over soon.

Pour salt into the open wound.

Is it over yet? Let me in.

So sacrifice yourself, and let me have what's left.

I know that I can find the fire in your eyes.

I'm going all the way, get away, please

You take the breath right out of me.

You left a hole where my heart should be.

You got to fight just to make it through,

'cause I will be the death of you

I'm waiting, I'm praying, realize, start hating

You take the breath right out of me.

You left a hole where my heart should be

You got to fight just to make it through

'cause I will be the death of you.

By: Breaking Benjamin

Happy Endings

Weddings and more weddings

24^th May 2008 – Fasha

25^th May 2008 – Angah

1^st June 2008 – My colleague’s son

6^th June 2008 – Dianne

15^th June 2008 – Fifie

There have been too many weddings to attend. Too many receptions of which I have to be available for. None of it is mine :P Thank God! *sigh*

I’m sure that when we were younger, we’d dream for a wedding which is out of this world. The best ever. With a huge cake and beautiful princess like wedding gowns to match. To marry prince charming and live happily ever after. (lol The fairytale wedding..)

To my friends who invited me over to your weddings, you are most appreciated and I love you all. May God Bless your marriages and that you will have the best life the world can ever offer.

Life hasn’t been fair in most cases.. Which keeps me from thinking and preventing me from moving on in any relationship to this thing called “MARRIAGE”. It does seem nice to love and be loved but it only seems fair if the relationship goes as it is supposed to.. A loving husband, a caring wife and some naughty kids :P

At the moment, the fact of life isn’t as beautiful as I want it to be. So, here’s a story about a relative of mine. She’s a professional (just stating the fact that she isn't some stupid dumb girl who has no qualification of any sort). She works in a government department. She married an officer. They were happy and loving before they were married (Well, I assumed they were.. Why would anyone marry someone they don’t love? :P lol).

But things started to change after the wedding.. It was only a month before she knew how abusive he is.. From that day on, it was cuts and bruises for her.. Enduring it alone, too scared to file a police report.. When the fact is there are acts which prevents domestic violence..

It was a real eye opener when such a thing happens to a relative who is very close to me.. Listening to such cases of abuse in the radio, watching it on TV, reading it on the papers has done nothing much to me and how I feel about how serious domestic violence is. When something like it happened to a relative, whom I myself care for so much, someone I grew up with, I considered as a sister. It gave me a hard impact. It made me a little too careful when considering being in a relationship with anyone.. I mean ANYONE and everyone in this matter..

Will write again soon.. daa~